i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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