seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need a beard to bite.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize