Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
