a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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