I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
How's work?
Spinning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
