it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
