Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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