Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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