It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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