PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
