God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
