Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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