doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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