yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
