Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize