We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she told me i tasted like america
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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