did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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