Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
