I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
