WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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