I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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