Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
