Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
