trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
