its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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