how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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