Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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