Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
