i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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