did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
