I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
