She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
