He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
