Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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