Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize