And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
