your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
