It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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