how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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