I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
