Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
