I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
