you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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