If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
