Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
