of course. lets lasso hookers.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
