I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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