I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
