I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
