Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
