I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
