So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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