Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
