And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
