I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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