weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
