This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize