Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
