Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She announced her abortion via fbk
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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