talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
