Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
